A Stunning Destination Wedding at a Spanish Villa
How I Became the First Lady of a Five-Day Destination Wedding
Forty-two people, nine houses, five days in Spain, one wedding, two self-appointed COOs, and somehow, by association, I became the First Lady of the Villa.
This summer, two of our incredible friends got married in Spain. Instead of treating the wedding like one beautiful day, they created an entire little world around it, which meant an entire village was created for the weekend. All 42 of us stayed together on a two-acre property with nine houses. We moved between pool days and paella nights, took over different corners of the villa, assigned everyone jobs, and very quickly started operating like the cast of a reality show. And our logistics department was top notch.
Which is how my husband became one of the villa’s COOs.
And how I became extremely invested in the operations.
Before we get into that, a very quick life update because it has somehow been more than two years since I last blogged.I am still shooting weddings and still genuinely love it. We bought an apartment in New York City, so this is officially home for the foreseeable future. Our Bernedoodle Minnie, the actual love of my life, is thriving. She helped us train for the New York City Marathon last year and is probably in some of the best shape of her life, despite the fact that I personally have not run since crossing that finish line.
Also, in a little sneak peek of what is coming next, I am launching a podcast later this year. More on that soon.
Anyway, back to Spain.
42 People, Nine Houses, One Spanish Villa
The bride is originally from Spain, and the idea behind the weekend was simple: take everything people love about a wedding weekend and create as much actual time together as possible. Instead of everyone scattering across different hotels, we all lived together for five days on one property.
It sounds idyllic, and it soooo was!
After about six hours, we started to realize we felt like we had been cast on a very niche reality TV show, and like, how fun, right?? Headquarters quickly became the main pool at the villa. Throughout the day, people would wander over to catch some sun or swim. There were naps by the pool, people coming over to grab some drinks, do some catching up, and then disappear to all of their own houses, only to reappear three hours later.
At one point, one of the rooms was transformed into a DJ setup because apparently our temporary village also needed nightlife, obviously.
The first night, everyone arrived and grilled together. The following day was one very long pool party that turned into a dinner party with a paella chef! There was more music and hanging out, and the realization that all of the sitcoms you watched where you are living within a few hundred feet of 40 of your friends is extremely fun!
Then came the wedding day. Our entire cast all loaded onto buses at the villa. Then we headed to the wedding so all of the festivities could get started!
I spend a lot of my life at weddings, so I am very intentional about not becoming Wedding Professional Laur when my friends get married. My friends don’t need unsolicited ideas or me comparing their choices to weddings I have previously worked. I definitely do not want anyone to feel like I am assessing different parts of the wedding from my seat at the ceremony. I just want to be their friend!
But I was genuinely so impressed by the personal details woven throughout this wedding.
The florals included fresh fruit, making everything feel abundant and unmistakably Mediterranean. The favors were tiny plants that I planted when I got home which means I have a tiny piece of Spain on my windowsill in New York.
Their table numbers doubled as anniversary cards. We sat at Table Two, so everyone at our table wrote a note for the couple to open on their second anniversary. Each table wrote something for a different future year!
The ceremony was officiated by members of both families and moved between English and Spanish. Every detail felt connected to who they are, but nothing felt like it existed just to be a detail. One of my favorite ideas from the entire weekend, though, had nothing to do with the decor.
Give Your Friends a Job at Your Wedding
I tell people this all the time: your friends genuinely want to help you.
People want to belong and feel useful. We want to know that we are part of something, and we wouldn’t offer if we didn’t want to help. Adult life does not offer many opportunities to show up for our friends in a way that uses the random things we are actually good at.
If you are a doctor, your friends might text you when something hurts.
If you work in marketing, there are significantly fewer emergencies where someone screams, “QUICK! WE NEED A Q4 CAMPAIGN STRATEGY.”
Weddings are different.
They are one of the rare times when countless things are happening at once, and your particular skill set, or simply your willingness to help, can make your friend’s life easier. For the villa, everyone was given a role. Not bridesmaids or groomsmen, but…Captains.
There was a Grill Captain responsible for keeping everyone fed when we cooked at the villa. There was a Vibes Captain because every major group gathering deserves someone professionally responsible for the vibes. We had Villa Moms who helped keep the shared spaces organized and prevented 42 adults from completely destroying the place.
I was Photography Captain. Naturally, this meant taking approximately one billion photos, which is a skill I can definitely say I own!
Then there were two people given perhaps the most important title of all: COO. One of them was my husband.
My Husband, Chief Operating Officer
John Michael is fluent in English and Spanish, extremely good at logistics, and exactly the person you want nearby when 42 people in a foreign country need to get from Point A to Point B.
So yes, COO was fairly accurate.
The COOs coordinated transportation and communicated with people locally. They worked with vendors, solved little problems as they appeared, and acted as a layer between the couple and the steady stream of questions that naturally comes with hosting that many people.
Every morning, the two COOs held a meeting to go over the day. This is where I enter the story. I am, professionally and personally, a bitch who loves to be in the know.
I love information. I want the schedule, but I also want to know why the schedule changed. I want to know what everyone is wearing and when the bus is leaving. Who has the reservation? Have we considered a contingency plan?
And obviously, I love a little house gossip. We all know that is what makes reality TV good. Frankly, it also makes a wedding weekend great.
So suddenly my husband was starting every morning with an operations meeting containing ALL OF THE INFORMATION?
This was my Super Bowl.
Through absolutely no official appointment, I began referring to myself as the First Lady of the Villa.
To be extremely clear, there was an actual bride at this wedding. I held no governmental authority.
I was simply married to management and abusing my proximity to information.
Because JM was genuinely busy handling things throughout the weekend, I became a sort of unofficial information desk. I knew what was happening. If I did not know, there was an excellent chance I was sleeping next to someone who did.
When people asked questions, I found myself saying increasingly ridiculous things like, “My husband’s the COO.”
A sentence I hope I have many more opportunities to use in life.
The Destination Wedding Idea I Would Absolutely Steal
The captain system was funny, but it was also genuinely smart.
Instead of the couple becoming the central help desk for more than 40 people, everyone knew who could handle what. Guests had ownership without feeling like they were working the wedding, and the couple had a chance to be present for the experience they had spent so much time creating.
For a destination wedding, I would absolutely steal some version of this idea.
You do not need to appoint a Chief Operating Officer. You can identify the friend who is great at logistics or the person who always takes the photos. Ask the one who would happily organize breakfast. Recruit the person whose God-given purpose is keeping the party alive.
Give people clear, manageable ways to help. Chances are, they will be thrilled you asked.
Honestly, I think this applies beyond destination weddings too. There are not many moments when you get to step directly into someone else’s world and make it easier for them. Most of friendship is being there. It is answering the call at the weird hour, remembering what someone said weeks ago, and showing up when it counts.
A wedding gives you a tangible way to contribute.
Anytime one of our friends gets married, it feels like such a special season because the things I do every day can help the people I love. I get to take the photo or organize the album. I can carry the bag, answer the question, fix the problem, or do whatever is needed in that moment.
That is part of why I loved the captain idea so much.
It gave everyone permission to show up.
The Destination Wedding Logistics That Made Everything Easier
The other choice that worked incredibly well was having one central place for communication.
The group used WhatsApp. There was a main space for information everyone needed, including arrival details and the weekend schedule. Smaller chats handled individual houses, family plans, and anything that only applied to part of the group.
It functioned almost like Slack.
Or, if you are old enough to remember this era of technology, GroupMe.
With guests traveling from different countries and using different phones, one shared system made everything significantly easier. A destination wedding already asks people to navigate an unfamiliar place and keep track of multiple events. No one should have to dig through 73 text messages to find the bus departure time.
After the weekend, I took my role as Photography Caption seriously and created a shared photo album so everyone could contribute the photos living on their phones.
As someone whose camera roll is essentially a historical archive, this was obviously very important to me. It was also genuinely useful because everyone saw a different version of the weekend.
One person had the photos from the pool. Someone else caught the late-night chaos. There were beautiful wedding portraits, candid moments, and at least one truly unhinged image that deserved to be preserved for history.
These little logistical choices are part of what allowed the entire experience to work. When information was easy to find, we had more time to do what we were actually there to do:
Hang out with our friends.
Five Days Is Better Than Five Hours
The wedding itself was beautiful, but when I think about that week, I do not only think about the ceremony or dinner or dancing.
I think about walking down to the pool and finding everyone there.
I think about paella night and the ridiculous morning COO briefings. I think about the beach day after the wedding when no one had anywhere particularly urgent to be.
I think about 42 people moving into a tiny temporary neighborhood together.
There is something incredibly special about a destination wedding that creates room for that kind of time. You are not only spending five hours together at a reception. You get breakfast and pool afternoons. You get the night before and the morning after. You get the random conversations that would never happen while everyone is trying to make the most of one evening.
You actually get time.
As someone who spends a lot of my life documenting weddings, that is the part I appreciated most as a friend.
There are not always obvious ways to use what you are good at to help the people you love. But every once in a while, your friends get married in Spain, you become Photography Captain, your husband gets promoted to COO, and you spend five days being extremely useful, extremely nosy, and, if only in your own mind, the First Lady of the Villa.
If you love hearing about the ideas that make real wedding feel personal, there is plenty more where that came from! Explore more wedding stories and behind-the-scenes moments here.
